Customer Reviews

If only I had read this book 14 years ago! - By: Tracy, 31 Oct 2006
Unlike the other book though, this book will help men & women alike. It is not aimed only at daughter-in-laws, but rather at daughter-in-laws & son-in-laws alike.

The book is crammed full of really useful & constructive advice about what you are entitled to expect from your in-laws (e.g. respect & to be treated as the equal adult that you are), what you are NOT entitled to expect (e.g. you cannot assume/expect that they will love you, but similarly of course, they cannot assume/expect that you will love them), how to deal with them constructively &in a non-aggressive, non-conflicting manner, how to get your spouse on side if he/she is not standing up to his/her parents/your in-laws, & so on.

The book discusses realistic & unrealistic expectations & explains how our unrealistic expectations can hinder the development of a decent relationship with our in-laws. It helps you to understand why they treat you like they do, shows you through real-life accounts that you could have even nastier (or messed up) in-laws (yes, there really are people worse off than you, which I found reassuring & which helped me to put thingsin perspective), & most importantly of all, it gives you solid, concrete advice about how to approach them from now on, as the "new you", i.e. as the equal adult that you are, even if they seem to think of you as otherwise!

As with all self-help books, this book will only help you if you are willing to really delve deeply into yourself & examine your own past behaviour. If you refuse to believe that you are anything except an absolutely perfect human being who has never done or said anything that could have been misinterpreted, then this book will not help you.

The book does make you think really hard about all sorts of aspects of yourself, your beliefs, behaviour, desires, your relationship with not only your in-laws, but also with your own parents & with your spouse. It made me realise, for example, that I was hoping for a fairy tale (i.e. in-laws that would welcome me into the family like a daughter) & it made me understand how that fairy-tale desire was actually the cause of some of my hurt when they did not live up to that fairy-tale.

If you are willing to read this book & digest its contents with an open mind, you will be rewarded greatly, & your relationship with your in-laws (and your marriage) will definitely improve infinitely.