Customer Reviews
Thought-provoking - By: , 25 Aug 2003 
This book is about teaching your kids to take responsibility for their actions, & to respect other people. The message is that learning this can be painful for kids, but that you, as the parent, need to teach them these lessons. The book argues that it is better to calmly & clearly tell your child what you expect from them, & what will happen if they choose not to do this, rather than to nag them, or get angry with them, or let them get away with unacceptable behaviour. So, for example, a child who is rude to his/her parents might be 'grounded' & not allowed to be with his/her friends until he/she can demonstrate they can behavein a more sociable manner. Or a child who doesn't do his/her household chores won't get any pocket money. Or a child who interrupts will get ignored.
The concept is a simple one, but if, like me, you have a tendency to want to 'make everything OK' for your kids, it is a good reminder that parenting isn't a popularity contest, & that sometimes the best thing you can do for your children is to let them feel the consequences of their own actions, even if that hurts them.
Personally, I didn't like the style of the book - the authors are Christians, the book has many references to the bible, & is very 'clean-cut American' (for want of a better way of describing it). But I felt that the messages are valuable to anyone, of any religion or background. I haven't read the authors' other book (Boundaries) but the book also challenged my own behaviour, attitudes & motivation. I would say it is well worth a read, especially if (like me!) you are inclined to be a bit soft on your kids.
Helps you to help your kids set guideslines for their life. - By: , 25 Jul 1999 
This is the book you wish your parents had! But you can start today, with your own children. The authors first Boundaries book is my "best" book. It helped me tremenoudly with my own life. And from quality people, here is another book to help you help your kids set the best boundaries for their own life. We can't to it for them, they will make their own mistakes. But we can show them what good decision-making does & allow them to have consequences for their decisions. I can't say enough about this book. I wish I had found it years ago when my oldest two sons were children. You will really equip yourself with this book to be a loving, effective parent.
Clear off your bookshelf-this is "The ONE!" - By: , 19 Jun 1999 Throw out all those other parenting books...this is THE ONE!!!! Not only did I find it to be wonderful for parenting, it helped me to see where MY bounderies need some help. This is a great book to give to a parent who needs some helpin their own issue of bounderies. While reading about their children, they will want to be "healthier"in their own life. It is always less intimidating & scarey to read something that "fingers" an areain SOMEONE ELSE'S life first. Then, as you see the need & beniefts,it is easier to bravely deal with your own. This would be a great gift to Grandparents too. It would help them to not "re-parent" behind your back as so often happens.
All I can say is WOW... - By: , 15 Sep 1998 I'm able to find something I heartily disagree within every childcare or child discipline book I read. Evenin my favorites. But I thought my head was going to fall off I nodded so hard while reading this book. I used to hedge daily on discipline worrying I was "hurting" my kids too much when I had to enforce loss of privileges. This book made me see that all consequences are painful...they are supposed to be. But painful & harmful are not the same thing. Just because my child is temporarily unhappy, that doesn't mean she is permanently scarred. All growth is painful. The flip side to the advice is you should balance your enforcement of consequences with empathy, affection, & support. You are neither your child's enemy nor his friend. You are his parent.
I was able to immediately put the good advice to use right away & my family is so much more peaceful! Boundaries really are good for building character, increasing empathy, & as converse as it may sound, strengthening the relationship between you & your children. The authors are both psychotherapists & devout Christians. I thought the Christian bent might annoy me but the scriptures quoted were used sparingly & only enhanced the eloquence & relevance of the text.
I wholeheartedly recommend this book to friends & relatives, Christian & secular. Buy this book & you will walk around thinking "I know which boundaries HIS/HER parents didn't enforce as a child." What an enlightening book!
If you want your children to succeed in life, read this. - By: , 19 Jun 1998 This book has been an answer to my prayers. If you want to be a good parent & do what's best for your children, you need to learn how. Boundaries with Kids teaches you how & ties the how to biblical scripture. Most parents want to do things for their kidsin hopes that they will like them. That doesn't equate to buying lots of things or givingin to their every desire. Raising children is not a congeniality contest, it is an awesome responsibility. If you truly care for your children & want to do what's best for them you need to raise them to become independent. To teach them moral values & the difference between right & wrong. If your struggling with raising your child but want to do what's best for him or her. Get started by buying this book, its a winner.
