Customer Reviews

Honest Voice of and Advice from Pain-Seared Experience - By: Donald Mitchell, 05 Aug 2004
This book deserves more than five stars for its ability to convey life-saving advice from experience that everyone will respect.

Every life will be touched with pain. Whenever that occurs, I'd Rather Laugh is probably the best source of advice you will find.

I'd Rather Laugh is remarkably good on how to overcome overwhelming personal pain. Although the libraries & book stores are filed with such books, rarely do their authors come to the subject from having survived tidal waves of pain. Ms. Richman brings just that perspective. As a result, you can believe her & act on what she tells you. That's as much as anyone can do for another personin pain. The rest is up to the suffering person.

Ms. Richman's life has had more than its share of downs as compared to ups. Her father was killed when she was eight, & her mother refused to ever tell her what had happened to him. He just went away, was all she was told. This made her pain & confusion worse & caused them to fester for many years. Her mother's reaction to this loss was to stop taking good care of her two daughters. Her mother was soon suffering from mental illness. "All my childhood I wished my mother had died instead of father." Imagine the guilt Ms. Richman must have felt about that feeling!

To get out of the house, Ms. Richman married at 19. Her mother was soon hospitalized for her mental problems. Her husband turned out to be a gambling addict who lost all of the family's money. During those years, she became a recluse -- never leaving her apartment for 11 years. The panic attacks were so extreme, she couldn't touch the doorknob to the apartment. She baby sat everyone's childrenin the building so they would run errands for her, like taking her children to the pediatrician & getting groceries.

The ultimate blow came after she divorced. He older son was killedin a traffic accident when he was 29. The severe pain of this was worse than all the other losses combined.

My heart was literallyin pain for this poor woman as I read the book. But I came away more impressed with her courage than with her pain. The way she has kept fighting back is wonderful.

How did she do it?

First, she wanted to overcome the pain. She assures us that the pain never goes away, you just integrate into your lifein a new way.

Second, she found that intensifying the pain could eventually help her find it ridiculous & cause her to laugh. The laughter was like an analgesic for her soul. Eventually, she found more ways to laugh.

Third, she began helping other people. Her methods seem to work for them, too.

At the end of the book, she outlines what works best . . . mostly ways to shift your mood by changing your surroundings, associations, & focus.

There is a very nice foreword to the book from her friend, Rosie O'Donnell, which puts Ms. Richmanin context. She is a truly outrageous person & a great friend to have. In the process, you realize that it's okay to give yourself permission to be outrageous. It's like taking off a straitjacket that allows you to move your emotions & your soul again.

Ms. Richman is a comic genius. If the subject weren't so sad, her one-liners would have you followingin the aisles.

I plan to follow up on some of her advice, even though I'm notin pain. I think it will be a lot of fun to drive around with my "plastic-glasses-eyebrows-nose-mustache" mask on with a big cigar dangling from my mouth . . . & wait for the unsuspecting to see me at a stop light.

Seriously, she points out that anyone can be happy when things are going well. Even if you are notin emotional pain, I suggest you read this book to prepare yourself for when you are. Also, be generous with sharing this book with those who are suffering now. That will be its best use.

May your life be filled with much good health, happiness, peace, & prosperity . . . even after you suffer a painful loss!