Customer Reviews

It's about all of us - By: Raj Khaira, 31 Aug 2003
I defy anyone not to be touched by this book. Shan evokes passion as she charts her unhappy life, crossing continents yet unable to shrug of the culltural mores.

Born into a family that expected a son, & a father intent on pursuing his sons interests rather than his daughters ambitions of being a doctor Shan evokes the feelings of being second best.

When Sharanjeet fallsin love with a Muslim (she's a Sikh) her family firmly dismiss any chance of the two marrying. She details with poignancy the death threats made by her family & the physical abuse she endures at the hands of her disapproving father. The reader can not help but feel empathy for Shan's position & anger at the wretchedness of her fate.

Her life then moves continents & to a lifein Buckinhamshirein England & an arranged marriage follows to a man she does not love. Despite the birth of her two boys Shan finds it difficult to adjust having suffered the twin loss of her ambitions to be a doctor & her first love. Her unhappiness is further exacabated by her husbands bad temper & violent outbursts. Her life becomes re-routed when a chance meeting offers her a chance to reflect upon her life & the direction that she wishes to take.

I have deliberatly left out the ending. I personally feel gratified to have travelled this journey with Shan & feel as if I have met this fascinating & fearless woman.

It's certainly a thought provoking book & one which every bloke & indeed Asian woman (I'm passing it over to the wife) should read, why?? because it gives us an insight into a patriachal society & how best to avoid the pattern & rules it enforces. Shan certainly made me challenge these & her autobiography is a blueprint to those who seek refuge & indeed inspiration.