Customer Reviews
Not recommended - By: Mr. F. Stern, 06 Nov 2008 
This book is badly written, the writing style being mostly single clause sentences, leading to long series of statements who's meaning was not at all clear.
Although the author does reference other sources of information on shame he writes about itin such a way that seems to refer to himself. It is as though the book is his own work of recovery.
Once the religious preaching claptrap started, the book went straightin the bin.
I found it self-indulgent & creepy, & would not recommend this book.
Helpful - By: charliebarlie, 12 Mar 2008 
Some reviewers say this book makes people too self centred. I can see why there might be a danger of that. But it can also be a very helpful book. Some shame isn't very useful & can seriously harm people's lives. I am finding the book very inspiring.
Victims' charter - By: Marina, 14 Feb 2008 Almost single-handedly, John Bradshaw has created the 'shame' industry. Shame is no longer regarded as a useful emotion which prevents us from repeating shameful acts. Instead it is represented as a false & negative condition which is foisted upon us by others.
There are, of course, individuals who carry around a burden of shame that does not properly belong to them. Such instances are mercifully rare & often involve early abuse.
According to this new doctrine, however, we are all victims, who are 'shamed' by other people. Shame is 'toxic' & is instilled into us by our close family, especially by 'toxic parents'. We are thus entitled to feel very sorry for ourselves & very bitter towards our persecutors.
This view of the matter is, of course, extremely popular. We love to be told that we are hard-done-by & that all our resentments are completely justified.
Unfortunately, it doesn't help people to get well.
Muddled and self-indulgent - By: Joscatuna, 11 Dec 2007 
John Bradshaw appears to have pulled off an old deception, practised for centuries by quack doctors & mountebanks everywhere. He has invented a malady ('toxic' shame), has then persuaded thousands of gullible people that they are afflicted with it - & is now peddling his patent treatment for this fictitious condition.
There is no objective evidence that 'toxic' shame exists. Yet again, hapless parents are being demonisedin the eyes of their self-obsessed offspring. This book encourages people to blame others & to avoid taking responsibility for themselves & for the solutions to their own problems.
It will be welcomed enthusiastically by all who love to flounder aroundin a swamp of self-pity.
If you are serious about recovery and growth .... - By: , 15 Aug 2004 After yearsin AA & Al-anon & starting ACA now, I am at lastin a place to face the issues coveredin this wonderful book. It need not take that long hanging around the 12 steps to reap the benefits herein, but that is how long it has taken me to be ready. This publication pulls no punches & tells the truth of the matter with integrity, but also with a consumate sensitivity & kindness. Perhaps best of all, this is one of the few recovery books that outlines positive exercises, for example utliising NLP techniques, to work on - perfect for the compulsive "doer" like me. If you had any kind of dysfunctional childhood (didn't we all?) get a copy of this book rushed to you now!
